Sometimes I think I married my husband so I never have to wait for another 'call'. I still cringe at all the times I've heard about the men who promise to call but disappear from the face of the earth, I still have enough memories of checking if my mobile is working to know how my single girlfriends feel...
Often after a disaster free, relatively fun first date a woman will feel optimistic about the ‘couple’s’ potential future. This optimism starts to wane when day after day passes and he still hasn’t called.
Men will very rarely confront a date/girlfriend/wife about their doubts. Instead they will just slink away and play that childish game where they close their eyes and you disappear. Of course we are left very much still existing, wondering why we have become invisible. Inevitably we happen across these men again (or sometimes we muster up the gumption to actually call them) and when we do they will give one of the following reasons for not calling:
“I lost my phone” - (remember the good old days, when he only had to loose a slip of paper?) he will of course find it again in time to call that swimsuit model.
“My baby broke/hid my phone” – clever. You look bad if you hold a grudge against a small child. This will especially shut you up if you had no idea of the existence of this baby.
“My phone ran out of credit” – seeing as a text message only costs 20c to send, this excuse makes your man seem like not such a good prospect.
“My ex-wife (woman who still lives with me as no divorce proceedings have been put in motion and is probably oblivious to her ‘ex’ status and your existence) is unreasonably jealous and took my phone”.
“I was out of the country” – last time my friend got this excuse the guy was referring to New Zealand and I am pretty sure their phones can call out.
“I knew you’d be busy with work” – well at least he has such a high opinion of you that he thinks you work 24 hours a day and so hard at it, that you can’t be bothered with annoying ringing phones.
“I was sick” – there is a rather nasty virus going around which renders men unable to use their dialling finger for over a month. Then again, knowing what sooks men are when they are ill, this is possible.
“I can’t always get to my phone” - where the heck does he put it???
“I didn’t want things to get too serious” – read: I will still root you, just don’t expect me to talk to you.
“I lost your number” – and didn’t know how to use directory service.
“I just don’t think we’re compatible” – meaning you like me to call and I don’t like to call.
“I just want to be friends” – one of those friends he never has to call or speak to again.
“My mum was in town” – and he’s not allowed to use the phone?
“I’m not ready for a girlfriend” – but two weeks later he is and gets engaged.
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