Mar 6, 2013

8 Ways to stay positive when the world says 'give up'


I had no idea what to blog about for this month's session. I've been so incredibly busy and working long hours on readying my next publication, DOGNAPPED? A Dog Show Detective Mystery, that I haven't had time to feel insecure. Then life had a good chuckle at my expense and provided a reminder that sometimes things can go wrong in gloriously disastrous ways. Sigh.

I won't go into the dull details, but it reminded me that even ditzy little giggle-heads like myself can get down sometimes. I've never been a very sympathetic ear, I'm always the one that wants to devise an action plan to tackle any adversities. So, instead of sulking (alright, I may have given myself five minutes to whine), I decided to look at actions we can implement whenever we're down. Here's mine:
  1. It could be worse. I know, I know, that's bad luck to say. But it's true. I reminded myself that this issue was just damaged property, it's only a money issue. Everyone is safe and well in my house.
  2. Meditate. Stress can affect your sleep and lack of sleep increases stress. I listen to guided meditation recordings I've picked up from Audible and iTunes. I turn the volume down low, focus on my breathing and pretty soon I'm all relaxed. They also help inspire creativity.
  3. Write it down. When things turn over and over in your head, your brain becomes active trying to process what can sometimes be a problem on a loop. Even if you wake up at 3am worried about something, grabbing a notepad and writing down the problem allows you to go back to sleep. Your brain needs an action to be taken, this small action allows it to move on.
  4. List the positives. If you've had a super-crappy day, list all the positives in your life at the moment. My list included finishing another manuscript, being offered a place in an anthology, invited to run children's writing workshops at a local bookshop/cafe and receiving heart-warming feedback from beta readers for Dognapped? Oh, and My Zombie Dog made a few extra sales this week. Listing positives can put the negative in perspective and remind you that life comes in waves with ups and downs. If you just ride the down out, you'll get another wave of gleeful times.
  5. Make a Plan. A plan within a plan! What actions, regardless of how unappealing they seem, could you take to remedy the situation? Choosing to do nothing is still making a choice, it's just a passive choice that rarely helps.
  6. Get over it. Sounds harsh? Whenever my kids are devastated over some loss (usually an electronic gadget), I tell them to imagine explaining their problem to a child suffering extreme poverty and life-threatening conditions in a third world country. This makes me feel too guilty to wallow in self-pity.
  7. Laugh about it. It's not always easy, but humour lifts the spirits. I think laughing at our adversities is part of the Australian culture.
  8. Do something nice for someone else. Can't feel sorry for yourself if you're busy helping others. Plus good deeds make you feel better.
There it is. My list of cheer-ups for those really cruddy days. Any extra ideas I can add to that list? I'd mention chocolate, but I think it's just become out of my budget (see, humour... yeah).

Speaking of doing good deeds for others, Nick Wilford has put together an anthology to raise money to help a young man with cerebral palsy attend a specialist college. You can grab the Overcoming Adversity for just $2.99 at Amazon, or check out Denise Covey's blog for more details.

40 comments:

  1. Thanks for the shout, Charmaine!

    Some great pointers there. It's easy to get hung up over setbacks which are pretty minor in the great scheme of things. It sounds like you've made some great positive achievements!

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  2. Get over it, man! Yeah, that works.
    Congratulations, Nick!

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  3. I used to hear "get over it!" all the time from my parents. Practicality like that is rare these days.

    Great list!

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  4. This post comes at a good time for me, because I've been dealing with some difficulties regarding my dissertation; I've been trying to find ways to de-stress and cheer myself up, so your post gave me some good ideas. And congratulations on the anthology and the workshops, as well as the book sales and positive feedback! Those are definitely all positive things.

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  5. Keeping busy is definitely the best cure for the blues.

    mood

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  6. Such a great list to remember, especially #4. It's so easy to focus on the negative, and listing the positives can really help. :)

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  7. I get knocked down, then get up again. Go dizzy little giggle head!

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  8. Using humor is one I frequent. It does make you feel better and sometimes you just really have to "get out it". Also, chocolate does help. :)

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  9. Excellent list and very complete as well. All very effective ways to feel better.

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  10. Great post, Charmaine! We might think some of those points are obvious but aren't the obvious things what we forget first in times of frustration? I'd totally add red wine to the list as well... just saying :)

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  11. I like to focus on the positives ^_^! Great blog!

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  12. Listing the positives is really important. It's so easy to get bogged down in problems!

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  13. It's easy to get sunk in self-pity, but thinking about the good things and just doing something can help turn things around.

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  14. I've been wanting to get back to mediation ad never thought to look fora guided one on my phone etc.

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  15. Meditation is key for me to find a calm in the storm. You'll have to pass me the names/links for some of the recordings...I like thunderstorms and animal sounds.

    Great post, Charlene!

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  16. Writing a problem down often shrinks it down to a manageable size, and helping someone else overcome obstacles always seems to raise my own spirits!
    Great suggestions!

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  17. I love number 8. I was once told if you're feeling sorry for yourself it's because you're thinking of yourself. I've tried to live this and I never feel happier and more productive than when I'm spending part of my time helping others.

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  18. Yay! I love positivity so don't read my blog because it is really crabby-ass this week.
    I aspire to your level of peace.
    Thanks for spreading it around.
    ~Just Jill

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  19. Thanks for another encouraging post, Charmaine - I'm all for positivity and I love your 8 suggestions. Yes, chocolate is one of mine - and music.

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  20. Thank you for this mental slap! It was just what I needed today :)

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  21. Great post. Thanks for the attitude adjustment. :)

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  22. An excellent list and great, much-needed advice. :)

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  23. Thank you so much for the tips! It was much needed (-:

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  24. Lots of good suggestions on your list. Another feel-better cure is to cook or bake some comfort food. (I'm talking GOOD stuff, like chocolate chip cookies, not the stuff that's on my blog post.) Then take a long walk, followed by a hot bath, topped of by sitting back, feet propped up, with a glass of wine and a purring cat on your lap.

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  25. That's helpful stuff. I'm going to second the comfort food suggestion. Might not be healthy, but usually pretty effective for me. 'Course that means going for an extra jog later on...

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  26. I need to employ #6 much more often. Wonderful list, I think I'll write these down and keep them by my computer. Heading over to check out Overcoming Adversity!

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  27. Thank you for providing some very helpful advice. Sinking into the mire is surprisingly easy. Pulling oneself out of it is another thing entirely.....

    Keeping a sense of humor is extremely important.

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  28. Those are some good tips. I usually also try to do something else creative if writing doesn't work.

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  29. This is a great list of tips! Thanks for sharing!

    Whenever I feel down about my writing, I always try to give myself a little time to grieve/be upset. Then I move onto the "get over it" phase that you describe. The process has worked pretty well for me so far!

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  30. Hi Charmaine,

    Thanks for a great uplifting post. I needed it this morning.

    Congratulations on all your achievements.

    All the best to Nick and Andrew.

    Nas

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  31. I like this so much I printed these out to use in all aspects of life :)

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  32. Okay, another one to add is to visit your blog and see how many awesome wonderful people there are in the world! I love my blogging friends :) And chocolate.

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    1. Hope you are all ok and soldiering on.Thanks for this very very timely post. I have made a list of your list with hopes for positive salvation! Dim x

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  33. Yes on all accounts. When I'm feeling bad, I tackle my to-do list to keep myself busy. I also ponder my problems while I'm walking, driving, or doing housework. Those pockets of time are actually the most healing. These are great tips.

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  34. I definitely feel better once I've got a plan in place to tackle whatever the situation is. I also remind myself that, frequently, whatever thing I dreaded dealing with I'd always made into a greater monster in my head than it wound up being in reality. This won't always be true, I'm sure, but I have to say, the relief of having survived tackling a particular thing is pretty sweet, indeed.

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  35. Good pointers. I have to work at being positive, but I think I'm improving.

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  36. I say get over yourself and move on! Sometimes people spend way too much time wallowing in self-pity and need to snap out of it!
    But this is a great list!
    And I truly believe that "Laughter IS the best medicine" (as cliched as this is...)

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  37. Great tips here Charmaine.
    Being positive makes a HUGE difference Xx

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  38. Great post and good tips! Stay positive should be everyone's motive!

    All the best!

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